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This period marks a ten-year milestone since the phrase “vanishing” entered the public consciousness. Initially, the notion that someone could instantly end communication with a lover without any notice seemed like the height of indignity. How naive we were. In the ten-year span since, navigating toward a significant other has only become more confounding – an oftentimes fruitless exercise in awkwardness that is increasingly defined by social media slang.

Generation Z, a demographic who matured during a loneliness epidemic, a masculinity crisis, and a concerted attack on the freedoms of females and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic environment than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their romantic vocabulary has grown more elaborate and more deranged, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “vine swinging” testing the boundaries of your mental fortitude.

The following list is a detailed guide to the words this generation is using to talk about love, intimacy and the search of both. To channel one of the year’s most enduring online sayings, by the end of this guide you’ll ache to get back to God’s country – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “wokefishing”.

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The Letter A

Authenticity – For gen Z, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, raw self. Best wishes with that!

The Letter B

Bird theory – A TikTok trend connected to a test developed by couples researchers, in which you point out something minor – for example, “I saw a bird today” – and observe whether your date's response is inquisitive or brushed off. If they show no desire to hear more about the bird, you two are doomed.

Independent partner – Zoomers' answer to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but instead of having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and avoiding commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding mystery and self-sufficiency. (She may yet have that fringe.)

The Letter C

Seat theory – This signifies seeking out someone who helps you proactively. If you walked into a room, they would get a chair for you to sit down.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how broke people in their 20s do budget-friendly romance in a inflation-era world.

Crashing out – Losing it when you feel overwhelmed by life. You can lose it over a infatuation or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated feelings.

The Letter D

DINK – Double income, no kids. Once a marker of 1980s young urban professional affluence, it describes pairs who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they find it financially impossible to become parents.

E

Open communication – The antithesis of acting aloof: embracing communication, transparency and vulnerability.

The Letter F

Flags

• Warning signs – Behavioral habits signaling a potential partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners crazy, bad gratuity habits, a fondness for Woody Allen films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These actions validate your choice to date a mate. Examples include following up to make sure you got home safe after a date, minimal phone use, owning a proper bed …
• Beige flags – These typically describe specific, mostly harmless idiosyncrasies. Such as being an keen birdwatcher, still carrying around a biro in their bag, paying rent in cash …

Niche bonding – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the WWII or DVD collecting or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, conversely, meeting someone who despises the same stuff or people that you do (nothing builds intimacy faster than having a nemesis).

The Letter G

Geese – A band a typical Zoomer guy listens to.

Ghostlighting – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a period of ghosting.

Eager-to-please partner – Someone who is affable, eager to please and devoted. The uncommon boyfriend who is adored by all of his significant other's friends, and a black cat girlfriend's counterpart.

Gooners – A primarily online subculture of men so obsessed with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women's increasing despair toward heterosexual relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An archetype touted by manosphere figures: a woman who is sexually desirable, ever-comforting and happily domestic, who seemingly has no goals of her own other than satisfying her male partner. Maybe now you’re beginning to grasp the whole “pessimism” thing better?

The Letter I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial repulsions that instantly extinguish any feelings of desire.

“He would if he cared" – Something to remember after you watch someone else get an extremely thoughtful gesture.

J

Professions – These have not been this important in the dating scene since the Wall Street era. For some women, a “man in finance” is the ultimate partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, Republican-coded guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the left-leaning crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more emotionally available among us: healthcare workers, educators or counselors.

The Letter K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16m years. But the days of kissing may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer sex scenes in film, as they are having reduced intimacy themselves and do not find cinematic intimacy believable.

Enhanced profile crafting – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly lying about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a dating app profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {